Exactly as the title implies, this is a virtual encyclopedia of jakes and gags for the balloon worker/family entertainer. Over a hundred topics included, as well as a special bonus: free copy of The Little Book of Big Groans (even more comedy lines!) There you are . . . in front of an audience. You are doing a clown routine or a magic trick, or twisting a balloon. You're MUTE! You can't think of a thing to say and you can feel all those eyes on you. They wait . . . and wait . . . expecting you to say something funny. They want you to entertain them. You can feel the sweat running down your side. (It's called FLOP SWEAT!) They want you to be entertaining, and you can't think of a thing to say! Dear Entertainer: Don't let it happen to you! This book will insure that you will never find yourself in that situation. No flop sweat! Instead you'll have an almost unlimited fund of jokes, one-liners, riddles and bits of business that will have your audiences laughing . . . have them entertained. "You Will Get More Bookings by Using this Material. You Will Make More Money!" "The Balloon Worker's and Family Entertainer's Encyclopedia of Humor" contains over 1500 lines, jokes and bits of business. The material is perfect for clowns, magicians, balloon workers and for anyone entertaining children and family-style audiences. You will have access to over one-thousand-five-hundred laugh producing gems. All audience tested. You will get more laughs at every performance! You'll have lots of happy audiences. You'll have lots of satisfied entertainment buyers. That means you will get more bookings. You will make more money. You'll leave the competition choking in your dust! You Can Be Funnier All the Time! "The Balloon Worker's and Family Entertainer's Encyclopedia of Humor" makes it easy! You know how good you feel when you make audiences laugh. When that happens, you have fun too. Your job as an entertainer is a lot easier when you use the audience tested material in this book! Think how easy it will be to have your audiences laughing when you have over 1500 lines and bits of business to use. You will have comedy lines for virtually every occasion. "This is the Book That Makes You Look Good!" Great Performances don't happen by accident! Professional quality performances happen because an entertainer prepares properly. That means more than just rehearsals. It means gathering the best possible comedy material for an act. It could cost thousands of dollars to hire a professional comedy writer. For less than the cost of a hamburger and a trip to the movies, you get over one-thousand-five-hundred comedy gems. It costs just pennies per laugh! WOW! Will you look good! "The Encyclopedia of Humor by John "Doc" Morrissy is not just a collection of lines divided into categories. This is material right out of the act of one of America's busiest and funniest entertainers. Every word . . . Every line has been audience tested. Get this book! It is probably the only book of its type you will ever need."--Bob Brown. "Doc" working an event in Barrington Illinois " . . . This will be a big help in my act. The jokes and riddles are great. There are so many of them that I can use right away. Thanks for putting this in a format us old clowns can use . . . "--Richard Entrican - "Zero T. Clown" Sacramento CA. "I like your book and use the material a lot! The format makes it easy to find just the right joke for any occasion. Here is a direct quote from an 11-year old in one of my audiences after using your material - "You sure tell some good jokes!" Thanks!"--Mary Lawson - "Tootsie" Garden Grove, CA. The material is tried, tested and proven. And as the above quotes indicate, not just by the author! It's all here in this Encyclopedia of Humor! It's just waiting for you to sprinkle throughout your act to create happy, laughing audiences. Don't you owe it to your audiences (and to yourself?) to give the best possible performances every time? You will do just that when you use the material in this wonderful book. "You Get Information Jealously Guarded by the Pros!" More than just jokes! You get tons of priceless information. Why don't you find out what these other pros are raving about? They have already discovered this fun and easy way to improve their performances. These are folks that are out doing it! They are not the ones sitting in the corner and loudly bragging about how good they are! Quite simply, these folks have no need to brag. They are the performers out on the "front lines." They are pleasing audiences all around the country with this material. Because they are first and foremost ENTERTAINERS, they can command the higher fees. You can too, when you put this information to use in your performances. "As a clown and ballonimal maker, I would recommend this Encyclopedia of Humor to anyone interested in improving and making any event a success. I haven't found any other book as full of great material as this one . . . it is HUGE!"--Ruddy Herdez - "Hugo" Redondo Beach, CA. "I loved it! When I am making a balloon animal for a little child, the silence is too much. A joke or two keeps them smiling while I am twisting, and I added to their enjoyment. From my own experience I know that your comments on applause [page 5] are right on. I love those little hands clapping!"--Joyce Waterman - TuTu The Clown, San Jose, CA. "Isn't it time you invested in yourself?" Yes, of course you can go out and spend the same amount on another prop. And what do you have? ONE prop! With this book you get information and comedy material that will help you improve every single magic trick and clown routine and balloon sculpture that you do! Just look at that value. Doing balloons? You get lines and bits for blowing up balloons. You get lines for when a balloon breaks. You get lines for all sorts of animals including dogs, cats, dinosaurs, birds, butterflies, whales, skunks and more. You get lines and bits for hats. You get all sorts of gags and bits for shaking hands. You actually get FIVE pages of lines and bits for dogs. If not the most requested, certainly one of the most requested sculptures. You get a great bit from Bob Brown called "The Invisible Balloon." You get a "Cut and Restored Balloon." You get lots of Knock Knock jokes, and you know how much kids like them! There is a section called "stooping." If you put that information to use it will instantly make you a better children's entertainer. If you work fairs or festivals you will occasionally face rainy days. You get two pages of jokes for and about rain. You get a page of lines for parrots. You get lines to use when you (or a volunteer) make a mistake. You get "Doc" Morrissy's routine called "Mentalism with Balloons," based on an idea by Kirk Charles and used with his permission. It will give you a six to eight minute routine using five kids and funny balloon hats. It can be done on stage or while strolling. It provides a great "photo op" and the media loves it! You get two pages of humorous lines to use when folks ask, "How do you do that?" You get three pages of ideas for adding "gadgets" to your act. You get two pages of ideas for games and contests that are great when you are asked to fill extra time. You get lines to use for a fidgeting or nervous child. You get a great gag for dropping balloons. The 2% Edge--Do you realize that is all it takes to be better than the rest of the clowns or magicians? My favorite examples happen in the Olympics. What separates the winners from the losers is measured in tenths of a second! And it happens regularly that the person that comes in fourth (out of the medals, out of the money) in a race had beaten the old world's record for the event! And lost! Think about this: Suppose that you added just two one-liners to every routine you now do. Added to routines you are already doing - no need to learn new tricks or balloon sculptures. How much better would that make you as an entertainer? And this book makes it easy to do! If you have read this far, you are not one of those entertainers that think that "good enough is good enough." You are a person that is always striving to improve. If you are a part timer - juggling a regular job and family responsibilities, think about it this way: How much time would it take to learn two new lines? Travel time. Bathroom time. Break time. Bed time. You have probably heard it said many times. The successful people are the ones that do what is necessary. The losers only do what is easy, only what they like to do. Which one are you? SO - what on earth are you waiting for? Get this book NOW!